15 Days

Well I didn’t update after my last appointment. I just got caught up with life, summer is flying by and yet going so slowly.

Everything looked stable on the ultrasound. It didn’t appear to be worse, but I have another ultrasound this week to make sure everything still looks the same and also to see how big he is because my belly is measuring way far ahead. I wouldn’t be surprised if they say I have a 10lb boy in there.

These last few weeks have been really hard on me emotionally. I have been irrationally anxious about everything, and bursting into tears seems to be a daily practice. I know I am just really nervous about the upcoming c section and birth of our son. Its hard to know that I have absolutely no control over what will happen to my baby boy and no idea what condition he will be in. Its even harder to know that I won’t be able to see him for several hours after he is born. They told me that he will be taken to the NICU right away, and I will have to finish being stitched up and taken to the recovery room.

I take great comfort in knowing that I serve a great and merciful God and that he already knows the outcome of this birth and the life of our son. I know that He will not make us face any situation alone. While I pray constantly for healing and the best possible outcome, I know I need to trust God no matter what happens.

We have 15 days until he is here. I know it will be the best and hardest day of my life.

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